Peaceful Mind Space

In order to be confident you need to practice. There’s overwhelming evidence that you become what you practice, so to become confident it’s clear you need to practice being confident!

To do this you’ll clearly need some skills you can easily use on a day-by-day basis, so I’m going to provide you with some, in this article. You should consider them only as intermediate stepping stones towards becoming naturally confident. Once you’re starting to have success with these techniques you’ll need to start developing yourself as a person with natural confidence.

It would be great, wouldn’t it, if you didn’t have to apply techniques every day because the very core of your being exuded confidence in a natural way? Well, I have some thoughts about the way in which you can pay attention to the changes you’ll see when you’ve started using them.

Making the change from a person lacking in confidence to a person with bags of confidence won’t be an overnight event! Rather, it will be similar to one of those huge tankers weighing hundreds of thousands of tones. Any change in direction takes time; in fact to reverse requires a distance of tens of miles.

Likewise, your change in direction will take time to achieve. Going from unconfident to confident isn’t a short trip! It will be a series of small changes which, when added together, will constitute a very big and dramatic change.

In order to monitor this for yourself I suggest you start to acknowledge whenever you notice even the tiniest extra bit of confidence. Rejoice, give yourself a pat on the back and help yourself to feel good about your progress – however small it may be.

Don’t let yourself become disillusioned because you’ve not yet achieved 100% confidence, because that will de-motivate you. Recognise instead that each small incremental step is taking you to your final goal. That’s why you need to celebrate each one of them!

So now to the daily techniques which, if practiced, will completely change your confidence level.

Did you know that, like the rest of us, you talk to yourself? Not out loud of course, inside your head. And did you know that most of your ‘self-talk’ is negative? You tell yourself how stupid you are, what a bad person you are or that you can never do anything right!

If anyone else were to talk to you the way you talk to yourself, would you want to be around them? I don’t think so!

So here’s the first technique: change the way you talk to yourself in your head, and every time you catch yourself talking negatively, re-state it in a positive way.

In addition to talking in your head you also make pictures (mental images) in your mind. You may not be aware of this but I assure you, you do – and it’s normal! At times you may create pictures of something you want to do or achieve, but they’re so tiny and dark and not a bit motivating. Think back to the small black and white televisions we used to have – ugghh!! Conversely, if you go to the cinema these days it’s a massive screen, bright colour, full, rich sound and the whole thing just draws you in and excites you.

Here comes the second technique: when you’re thinking about what you want to do, don’t be like the old television! You need to expand your picture, brighten it, colour it, put motion into it and a soundtrack that will simply have you wanting to jump out of your seat to take action!

The trick is to see your negative thoughts through the small, black and white television and your desires, dreams and wishes in full surround-sound, modern cinema style. You’ll find in that way you’ll greatly diminish the negative feelings and multiply your emotions and motivation connected with your positive thoughts.

The third technique: is to walk like winners’ walk - every day - so you begin to programme your body to be confident.

If you were to look around you in a crowded room, you’d be able to pick out the confident people, trust me, they just stand out. They stand and move differently from anyone else - in fact they use their whole body in a completely different way. They walk ‘the winners' way’.

Pay attention to them and start to stand, move and sit in the same way (using a mirror initially to ensure you get it right) and see how much more confident you feel.

Finally – and perhaps the hardest of all – the fourth technique: is to take risks.

Even though initially it may only be a small one, each day you must be taking a new risk. It might be choosing something different on the restaurant menu at work. It could be smiling at the shop assistant who serves you at the check-out.

You need to start with small risks and build up, just as you would build your muscles, slowly, slowly, a little at a time, ensuring you’re comfortable before moving on to slightly bigger ones..

If you commit yourself to practicing each of these techniques, every day, you’ll notice a significant boost to your confidence within a month. You’ll be that much further on your journey to becoming a naturally confident person. Like pushing a car, you may find it a little difficult to get it started but then it gets a lot easier. But a word of caution here! Don’t let the car stop rolling.

Once you’ve started on your journey to becoming a confident person and have created a good rhythm, it will become easier. And you don’t need to do it alone. Not only can your friends and family help you to keep moving in the right direction, there are also many professionals who are trained and experienced in helping people, just like you, to make these significant life changes.